There were things I said I’d never do pre-baby: use a soother, bring Bean into our bed, buy excess baby gear, or let the kid watch TV—just to name a few. So far, 100 plus days into motherhood, and I’m doing it all.

There is nothing wrong with any of these behaviours. It’s just that somewhere along the way in one of the dozens of parenting books I devoured while I was pregnant, I came up with a set of rules for our unborn child. And as I write this in a room now decorated with a bouncy chair, a swing, a play mat, a stroller and a bumble chair, and my three month old sleeps peacefully while sucking on her soother to the background noise of a TV, I realize my intentions were futile. I am sure the veteran moms reading this are laughing. They’ve been there. Done that.

So lets talk about this. The soother. There is so much debate on whether this little piece of plastic (but don’t use plastic—plastic is bad—apparently) will actually help or create bad habits for new babies. So I figured, why bother even getting the kid started on it, I’ll do without. Well, after week three of no sleep and endless crying at 2:00 in the morning, I had to reach out for a lifeline. She took to it right away and went to sleep moments later. What the? Was it really THAT easy? It worked so well I even considered using it myself. Note: There is a reason it’s called a soother.

Bringing the baby to bed is a tricky subject and it’s not for everyone. And I was terrified of falling deep asleep, rolling over and harming our child. However, at 4:00 in the morning, when babes is staring at you with no intentions of going to sleep and the soother is no longer the magic wand it was just two hours ago (see above) you try the next thing—bring her to you so you can at least lie down while she eats. The truth is, even though you are so tired you could sleep standing up, you actually won’t fall asleep with your baby beside you. That “mother sixth sense” that appeared the second your first contraction hit will kick in and you’ll hear and feel every movement your baby makes. Trust me, you won’t sleep…but your baby might.

The gear takes on an energy of its own. Our plan was to borrow “stuff” from friends to save on money and space. It was a glorious idea, but it didn’t last long. You think you can entertain your child for hours on end, but in doing so simple things like laundry doesn’t happen. So we had to start buying things for her to play with. Enter the play mat. Suddenly, you have an extra 10 minutes to go to the bathroom. Throw in a swing and you might actually get to drink a hot cup of coffee. Honestly, just put all your furniture in storage until your kid turns 18 because your house will transform into a kid-dom one bouncy chair at a time.

I used to pride myself on barely watching TV—but after three months of being at home I now know every network listing from 7:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. and then some. It is meant to be background noise and something to keep us company, but I fear we are getting a little attached (I think I just saw Bean trying to lean farther back in her bouncy chair to be able to get a view of the TV. Oh well. It WAS Canada winning gold in men’s freestyle). I do know this is a bad habit, and I plan on rectifying it ASAP, just as soon as “Ellen” is over.

Part of expecting your first are all the expectations you put on yourself. But give yourself a break and just take it day by day. As long as it’s safe and healthy, and your baby is happy, use what works. Because trust me, once the little one arrives, all gloves are off.

Question to moms: What was one thing you said you’d never do, and are now doing?